Currently 11:09

 
all we have is now. this moment will soon be gone. freeze time. these are my unspoken thoughts at currently 11:09.

Drinking :: orange juice. lots of orange juice.
Reading :: blog posts. why you all have to be so creative it blows my mind.
Wanting :: chocolate cake. who doesn't want chocolate cake?
Looking :: for a silver lining. everything has been pretty damn screwed up in my life lately and i've yet to find the positive outlooks on situations so keep your fingers crossed for me.
Playing :: Sudoku. call me a nerd but it soothes me.
Wasting :: the day. it's 11:09 & i have sat on my couch for the last six hours. there's a lot i really should have done but my lazy-self took over for today.
Eating :: fruit snacks. if it's possible to die from eating too many fruit snacks i'll definitely be the first to find out.
Wishing :: that i had some friends. because i have none. gotta love spending weekends by myself.
Enjoying :: having my heater on full blast and wrapped in a blanket. i'm a blanket burrito.
Waiting :: until monday. call me crazy but i love weekdays and hate weekends. guess that's what happens when you have no friends so you're weekends are lonely and depressing.
Liking :: the fact i graduate soon. i wish i enjoyed high school more... oh well.
Wondering :: what my life would be like if i hadn't met that one boy: the one person who taught me what it felt to love and be loved, and then left me as if i were nothing. left me broken and alone. i wonder what my life would be like if i had all that time for my real friends...instead i pushed them all away for him. BIG MISTAKE.
Loving :: being single. i can finally say that i'm 100% with it and i am definitely not looking to change my status anytime soon
Hoping :: i'll get into the college program i've been working my ass off for months to get into.
Marveling :: at the fact i've made it this far. there have been so many points in the past year that i've wanted to give up but i'm so proud that i haven't. yay!
Needing :: a hug. 
Listening :: to my parents fighting. well sorta fighting. more just yelling about things that should be dealt with. my dad just doesn't realize when something is out of his hands... the one thing he can't seem to fix...
Smelling :: applesauce. i forgot to throw away the container so my room is filled with the scent of cinnamon applesauce.
Wearing :: your average girls winter outfit...leggings, mens sweatshirt, fuzzy socks. only the best ;)
Noticing :: that there is a bruise on my stomach that i have no idea where it came from. weird.
Knowing :: that i always feel excluded, but really i exclude myself. i need to be more willingly social.
Thinking :: HA! too much is on my mind...my thoughts consume me.
Trying :: to be happy. kinda hard when my emotions are swinging out of control every two seconds. thanks hormones.
Feeling :: like a ray of sunshine. (tired, sore, depressed, hungry, etc.)